Good News: Shaq Just Fixed The Celtics

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Finally someone puts some sense into the nonsense known as the 2018-19 Boston Celtics. They’ve been out here arguing and bickering over nothing when they should really be more like *checks notes* Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. Better known as the Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi of the NBA. Two noted peacemakers if there ever was one. Everyone remembers when Shaq left Los Angeles it was amicable and because he wanted to spread his knowledge to Dwyane Wade, as he had previously for Penny and Kobe, and for no other reason at all.

But to the point Shaq might should have made here – it’s completely possible to compete at a high level and ultimately be dominant while hating the fuck out of everyone around you. Those Lakers three-peated and made four straight Finals before finally tapping out. These Celtics have sure acted like they’ve accomplished similar but haven’t even made it out of the East in nearly a decade, when the vast majority of their roster was in elementary school. So now is the time to act more like Kobe and Shaq, and maybe Brad should eat a shit ton of peyote and be a lot more like Phil Jackson. Just spitballing here it could work.